Faith Without Strings is just that. No politics. No religion. Just faith.

My Latest Posts

• I lost my boy…April 13, 2022

  This was originally posted on my Facebook on December 20th. I want to keep a log of my journey through this tragedy, and this is where it started. Max was 18 years old when he lost his life.

  I lost my special boy.

  There was an accident and we lost Max. I wasn’t going to get on here, but the outpouring of love from our family, friends, swim family, and church family has been so overwhelming.

  All I’ve been doing is making lists of people in my head that I had to tell myself. I didn’t want people to just find out this way. I’m just so tired and lost I don’t think I can dial one more number. If you’re finding out this way for the first time just please know that I tried. I really did. Max was 18. His life was just getting started.

  He had such a bright future. He was about to start at Campbell University. All the paperwork was in.

  If there’s anything I want people to know Max for, it’s his heart. He led with his heart. He lived with his heart. He cared with his heart. He thought with his heart. He hugged with his heart. I have never encountered someone who cared as much as he did, loved so unconditionally, and was so wise beyond his years.

  His little sister Ireland was the apple of his eye. He was in love with her from day one. He was the perfect big brother to her. He took time with her. He played with her. He loved her so much.

  His older brother Gabe and him became friends and not just brothers. I was overjoyed to see them becoming this new kind of friend and brother as they got older. I was witnessing the birth of the adult version of their relationship and I couldn’t have been happier about it. I just wanted the family to stay close when we aren’t around someday, and I knew that those two would keep everyone together.

  Max and Zane… I just don’t even know where to begin. Zane needed a brother to guide him. He needed someone to be patient with him. To help him grow and mature as only a brother can do. In the last few years Max seemed to not just take care of him, but really be his friend. I’m so worried about Zane now. It’s like he’s lost the other half of himself.

  Max loved his mama so much. Oftentimes he’d talk to me in private about ways he could make her life easier. He always was thinking about how we can help mom with whatever’s going on. He would just give these ridiculously long hugs to mom at bedtime. I will miss that so much. Bedtime is so hard now.

  Me and Max…he was my special boy. He always was. The hugs. The love. That irrepressible excitement and love in his eyes. Being down for whatever as long as he was involved. He was just amazing. One day I was struggling with paying the bills and was obviously showing the stress on my face. He just looks right at me and says, “Dad, you really do a lot for us with what you have.” I was just shook. What teenager thinks like that?? It hit me right in the heart. He liked to hang out with me and watch tv. He wanted to be with me even as he got older, had all these friends, played video games, and had a social life. He still made a point of hanging with me. I will miss my hang out buddy so much.

  There was one time something was happening and he ended up at a Waffle House with me in the middle of the night when he was younger. Just me and him. From then on, that was our thing. He looked forward to it. When he had a problem in his life he wanted to talk out with dad, we headed to Waffle House. I’m going to miss that more than he would ever know. I would give anything to take him there now. Anything at all.

  He had those kinds of friends that were his brothers and sisters. I won’t try to name them here. It’s hard enough for them. They are part of our family forever too. Just know guys that we love you more than you know and you have every right to grieve just as much as us. You are welcome here anytime at all. Even if it’s just to sit in silence. You are our sons and daughters. You are all welcome. Thank you for taking Zane in with you guys to hang out and be distracted from all the sadness. It means so much more than I could ever put into words.

  I don’t feel like I’m even making a dent in what I should be saying here to truly convey who Max was. He deserves so much more.

  I’m 45 years old and I found myself admiring him and wanting to be more like him. When he was small, he was a hugger. His eyes were just so loving and happy all the time. I was always kind of worried that he’d lose that as he got older. He never did. He never stopped hugging. He never stopped loving. He never stopped caring. I just loved him so much. He touched so many lives. The amount of people that he touched with that big heart is unbelievable. I miss him so much. I just want to hug him one more time. This is so hard.

  There’s been some amazing people stepping up and trying to maintain our lives while our walls are crumbling. Everybody wants to know how they can help. I truly appreciate everyone and I wish I knew what to say. I just can’t find the words right now other than thank you. I’ll tag some of the many people who are helping us. They might be better to talk to with those kinds of questions. By no means is this small list the only people who have been involved. It’s just the ones that have been coordinating what they can when we can’t function. I just need to be there for my wife and kids and these people are allowing me to do it. I don’t have the words to express my gratitude.

  One last thing. I have always made a point of insisting on hugs and love you’s when the family leaves the house. I was thinking of myself really when I started it years ago. I just thought that I always wanted the last memory of me to my kids to be those words. I just never imagined how important it would be right now. I hugged him before he left that day. We said love you. I didn’t know it would be the last time this side of heaven. I would’ve hugged harder…so much harder. So hug those you love. Say love you even if they act like its weird and mushy. Take an excessive amount of pictures. You just don’t know.

  This is so hard.